Friday, May 31, 2013

Surprise...mommy has a baby in She's tummy!

This is how CHarlee Kate likes to announce it!! This is also the 3rd post so big news (for us) if this is the first time checking the blog. I am typing out my story. The previous posts give background info.

So...This was the final try and month for fertility. March.. the day came for me to come off birth control, i was hoping for my cycle to start immediately, so that we could start shots and get the process going. For some reason, everytime I started shots, I would get excited (minus going to purchase them). I guess I felt like there was a "chance" once I did that. I did start 2 shots a day for 5 days... the usual. Only this time when I went in for my first ultrasound/bloodwork, everything was MUCH slower in progression. The doctor attributed this to my body being supressed by the birth control. Also... in the middle of this I had a procedure done called HSG. I had this done in Tampa and it was absolutely the most horrible ever. Basically it is putting dye into your tubes and "flushing them out" to make sure they are not blocked. I compare it to putting draino in a sink (little humor), but this one can inflate the tubes a little and hurt!! However, cleaning the pipes out meant an even better chance so I was ready to take it on. This doctor here though was smart and numbed my tubes... much better experience and it all went well. So... I had to go back to lots more nights of shots, which has now pushed all the timing back and the monitoring and everything else will be when Spring Break was over. However, I told my doctor I didn't care. At this point, I wanted what was best for my body. So I went in and gradually we watched those follicles/eggs grow and mature and things were looking good. Everyday I would go back to the fertility pharmacy (which there is just ONE of in Birmingham) and get my shots. Everyday Jeremy would debate, "do I go out of town or stay in town?". Everyday was new news and everyday I was also asking my principal, "can I leave for a few minutes". Constantly something. Then the day finally came with mature eggs and they were really mature, 3 of them! What does that mean... 3 can drop. I received my ovulation shot from my fabulous fertility nurse (who I would visit at nights to GIVE me the shots when Jeremy was out of town), then the next day we decided to do the IUI. We decided the next day for this procedure, rather than the standard 36 hours because more eggs would have time to mature and drop and we didn't need that to happen...bc multiples made me nervous. I did take that day off, we all went to breakfast together, took Charlee Kate to school, then I had the procedure and then sat outside and read magazines all day. The next 2 weeks were long... really long. I knew this was probably close to the "end" of the process for awhile. For lots of reasons, but I just couldn't comprehend IVF which was next on my list and mentally, physically, chemically, I was exhausted from it all. In the middle of it, one of the 3 eggs turned into a cyst and burst, which caused us to go to the ER to have it checked out. I was so scared this had messed up my pregnancy chances, but the doctor assured me again it would be okay. 3 days before I was "expected to start" I began very obvious symptoms of my period starting. I was so upset but never really gave it up mentally. When the day came for me to start I was a nervous wreck but had somehow accepted it was okay if I did. That was a Wednesday... so later that day when I had NOT started, I put in for a sub for the next day. I needed that day off whether I started or not. I woke up Thursday morning at 4:00 am and took a test. It was so faint that it wasn't even there. I called the doctor when they opened told them I was a few hours late and they wanted me in to do a blood test. Again, I took Charlee Kate to breakfast then to school late before heading to the doctor. After the blood work, she said "do you want to wait?" I thought to myself... no. I need to go home and process this. Jeremy had the President from Life Fitness in town so he was so busy... I just needed to figure this out because I was preparing myself for what it "could have been". Trying to be positive but realistic of the possibilities too. In about 30 minutes the nurse called saying "Congratulations Mrs. Wilson, you are positive and pregnant". I froze, I teared up, I just sat there. I wanted that moment to stand still. There were numerous days of negative, negative, negative. This was positive. I just needed this moment. From there it is all history.... that moment was priceless. I told Jeremy it was a long year... in the middle of EVERY BIT of that we were moving, renovating, and trying to carry out normal working days. I learned so much, God used that time to really use me and teach me. I wouldn't take "that part" back for anything because I became a different person through it all; however, I hope those fertility days are over! I don't want to do that again! Now to enjoy every single moment of this pregnancy because if I am "planning" it, it will be my last. 

I still did a home pregnancy test about everyday for a week after my doctor's visit. Jeremy would laugh at me, but I wanted to see NONSTOP positives! About 3 days after my positive bloodwork, I saw my doctor in her yard. Her house is on my running/walking route and she is outside all the time so over the year we did become close and I would stop and talk. I stopped and ask her if she "heard". She got so excited and hugged me. She assured me she would keep me with her for awhile and monitor me each week. This was reassuring. Even though a goal had been achieved, I wasn't ready to leave her or the nurses. They were practically like family. We watched this baby grow from a follicle so small to measure to this point. As the weeks would progress I would see how that baby would grow and it amazed me that I watched this process from day 1! The day finally came when I graduated from the fertility doctor to a NEW OB (because I never had one here in Bham since moving back). That was bittersweet, but it was time. My stomach was very very bloated because of my hyperstimulated ovaries. One would have THOUGHT I was pregnant because of that but as the hormones began to release their job to other organs they gradually got smaller and my stomach was sort of getting back to normal until baby growth kicked in. 

After all of that being said... it is by all means not a pity party. It is something I want to remember I made it through and that God gave me faith to get through. So many people go through this. I was apalled at how full the fertility waiting room was everytime I went. To see all of the same people that were in a "club" with me and struggled. However, I myself read so many blogs and so many others' stories about their fertility process. For some reason, that is comforting to a person going through this. To know that others go through it and others get through. It took me days to type this post and remember the process but one I love to read and realize we made it through! We still have months to go but it's happy times (through all the sickness too!).

We are due in December, definitely before Christmas!! So much excitement! About to end our week in central FL. I have lots to post about with our trip to Tampa and Orlando. 

Sunday, May 26, 2013

NEWS Part 2

So here is the fertility part in a nutshell. My blog is a great story of "our life". Some people enjoy reading, some may not, but it is for us, our family, to always have when I have the blog made into a scrapbook. I just love to read and see what was happening in our lives. This part of my life I "drafted" several times to truly get all the details in. I couldn't just type it overnight or in 30 minutes, but maybe someone else going through it will read it and realize it all turns out ok,

I started seeing my fertility doctor when we first moved to Birmingham 2 years ago. She lives here in Homewood, her students go to my school, and I just wanted to really get to know her first thing. I loved her and from day 1, she thought I would be an "easy fix". Haha... I wasn't the most difficult probably to me, but it was difficult enough. About a year ago, we immediately started off on fertility meds, same meds I did with Charlee Kate. However, we started off on the highest dose, which is what I had with Charlee Kate the last time. After a couple of months... nothing! No response. So... I did the meds again with ultrasound monitoring, meaning, we would check for follicle/egg growth. FYI... they have to be mature and a certain size before they are "released". Mine looked great, but still no response. After 4 months of meds, 2 months of constant monitoring and a shot to MAKE me ovulate at a certain time when the eggs were mature.... nothing. So... I needed a month off. That's a lot for the body (so I thought then... I didn't know what was yet to come). Now in between all this is constant bloodwork, timing of the ultrasounds, certain days, etc.. And... the absolute worst part for me was my hormones would shoot up, then go rock bottom. Chemically that makes you feel horrible.

October we started shots. Boy this was a big shock in a lot of ways. The shots aren't cheap to say the least, but they have to be given at the same time each night for 5 days starting on a certain day. So Jeremy started giving these each night in my stomach. Then you begin going in for bloodwork and ultrasounds every day to measure eggs. Mine weren't growing as fast, so she increased the shots to 2 a night. After several more days of ultrasounds and bloodwork, I=it worked... mature follicles, which meant I could get the HCG (ovulation shot), but.... on Halloween day, we figured out it didn't work. TIMING became a very big stressor! Of course... my husband travels so there is a little obstacle, and then the timing of ultrasounds and bloodwork, which means, leaving school at certain times of the day, right at break b/c it had to be in the morning and there was no way to take 5-6 days of school off every month, so the whole timing thing would stress me out!

November... we had to break. The shots really hyperstimulate your ovaries and put hormones into OVERLOAD so everything has to settle down. I decided for December to just do "oral meds" and then Artifical Insemination (IUI) with the meds, along with monitoring and bloodwork of course. That was my first IUI. That was another whole new experience where TIMING was another major factor again. Well obvioulsy... didn't work. Now with IUI you know to the day if it worked or not. So that makes for the longest 2 weeks! Very mentally draining.

January... last minute we decided to do shots again. The whole process repeated itself, 5 days of shots... this time we started with 2 shots a day, then the ultrasounds, bloodwork, and shots would continue every day or every other day. This time my body just shot up and responded immediately. It was still long with shots, but even better response than last time. We decided to do artificial insemination with the shots. All in all, it was a great month for the fertility process. Keeping in mind, when I do ultrasounds, I watch them measure every egg every day so I am LITERALLY watching the process unfold before my eyes. Well again... obvioulsy 2 weeks later... didn't work. Another very long 2 weeks.

Mentally, I was just hitting the bottom thinking about this because as you can see about everyday out of the month something is involved with the process so it is NON-STOP mentally, physically, financially, chemically, and luckily spiritually... because that is what kept me going. My doctor and I decided I would do 5 weeks of birth control to keep hormones level and to try and "time" the next process for the Spring Break time period to take a LITTLE stress off because of the whole TIMING thing again. It was nice for 5 weeks to think about a pill a day and that was it. I didn't have to worry about tests, bloodwork, ultrasounds, negative results, nothing. It was nice, not to say I didn't think about it but I didn't really worry as much.

More to come.....

Another wonderful day to be called mommy!

I was waiting until today to make this post because we had a huge Memorial Day party at the lake house and made the announcement to our family... who won't see this until after the party so.... I am not sure how it should start out. Definitely with the greatest excitement and with prayers that have been answered far beyond what I thought! We are pregnant with our 2nd child. This post is broken into 3 parts... each day I will finish the story, but the best way to start it out... is I could not have done it at all without those daily devotions on faith and then prayer. It was a hard hard road. Much Much harder than I ever encountered with Charlee Kate. I was pretty much at the end of the road... not sure where or if there was another road to go down and God blessed and surprised me. It was one of those blessings that I kept saying "Why me?? Why did I get to experience this joy and why did you chose me?" Of course, I was beyond excited!!!! Funny thing is.... all the many months, weeks, days, hours, minutes, and seconds before that point I kept saying "Why NOT me? I could handle it... I could be a good mommy". Then I finally learned it was all in God's timing. I will bring up the Infertility aspect in another post... right now I want to focus on all the positives and all the good things! This precious baby is already a blessing to me!

My fertility doctor did not release me until recently.... almost the end of the first trimester. She kept me to monitor me and watch and measure the baby every week. That was soooo exciting! It was so wonderful to have so many ultrasounds of the baby. I was used to having 2-3 ultrasounds a week, but I was always looking at my ovaries or the follicles. That got old after awhile. It was nice to see a little baby and that fluttering heartbeat! I always tell Jeremy that I watched this baby start out as a little bitty follicle and grow to this baby. The process truly is amazing! I do want to post about the infertility part soon. It wasn't easy by any stretch of the imagination and looking back now, I don't know how we made it through some of those times. This devotion was probably one of the best ones and it got me through those tough times. I printed it off and read it many many mornings in my classroom!

What a great devotion!
Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD." Psalm 27:14 (NLT)
Efficiency is my middle name. I like to get things done and get them done fast. Waiting for my computer to re-load a web page, or my kids to find their shoes, or even for God to come through on a prayer request isn't something I always do with patience.
In our hurry up, need it, gotta-have-it-now culture, it's easy to think we shouldn't have to wait. Think about it: within seconds we can know the weather in southern Mongolia, order a cute dress from a trendy store, or move dinner from the freezer to the table in five minutes thanks to microwaves. We can instant message our mom or send a tweet to thousands in the blink of an eye. No wonder waiting is hard!
What awesome instructions David's life gives for waiting! Waiting is less difficult and the future is brighter when we let God do His work in our waiting season. When we let our guard and defenses down, we're open to seeing how faithful He is to bring His plans for our lives to fullness.

And I just want you to know that even small faith is completely able to hold you. It held me those nights. Through the minutes and hours I didn't know how to make it.

More posts to come with more details...

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Summer time!!

It's around the corner (Today to be exact) and I have Summer Fever bad!!! I am ready for the break.... we need a break. I am looking forward to flying to Tampa this upcoming Memorial Day weekend! We have plans to see friends, stay at The Ritz I hope, go to Orlando for a couple of days to take CK to Disney, eat at all my favorites (Daily Eats and Wrights here I come!), and just enjoy being away. I am excited to take Charlee Kate back as well. This was all decided last minute as in like 6 days ago, but sometimes those random vacations are fun. We are flying out and Charlee Kate is so ready to go somewhere. Jeremy and I are too!!!

This past weekend we attended graduation parties for 2 of our nephews. That is so hard to believe because I remember holding one of my nephews at Jeremy's graduation and he was only 1 year old. I can't believe they are graduating this year. One is going to Auburn and one to Alabama.... they have some very fun times ahead of them. Charlee Kate just loved playing with her cousins. She played so hard. Here are a couple of phone pictures that I snapped real quick!

I only have these 2 pictures. Josh is the one graduating in this picture and he is an exact "imitation" of his Uncle Jeremy!!! They look sort of alike, but act EXACTLY alike!

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Mother's Day

Why do I only have 2 pictures for Mother's Day? Who knows.... but I can blog about the day. Saturday was such a productive, busy, fun day that we were literally exhausted from on Sunday. I am so mad I just totally stopped and forgot pictures though! There are 2 at the bottom.

Saturday was like a little Mother's Day too though. Charlee Kate and I had a morning out for 3-4 hours at the Summit. I had my hair cut, we did some shopping, had lunch, and had lots of fun! She was absolutely the sweetest thing ever too. We had fun together. That afternoon was cleaning, Jeremy worked in the yard for almost 9 hours, we rearranged, and just did "STUFF", which may not seem like fun to most.... but to me, it was fabulous! We needed a very good catch up day and it was so wonderful! Even though we moved into this house almost 9 months ago, there are still things that we work on and it is continuously getting better and better. The yard needed TLC and we needed new outdoor furniture so the furniture is coming together, the firepit is coming together, all the planting of flowers and trees, the garden Jeremy and CK created... it is really looking good! That fabulous Saturday made for a tiring Sunday though.

Sunday was a well rested, sleep in day! We don't have Sunday School until 10;00 so we can rest on Sundays. For lots of reasons I was just wanted the regular old Cheesecake Factory... but that was just a place I was craving so we went and ate outside. OMG that in itself was heaven b/c the temperature was low 60's, eating outside with my family, just wonderful! Afterwards we rested, went out to exercise, and literally just RESTED. That is how all Sundays should be I know! It was a great day, a blessing, and like I have said many times before, just an answered prayer to be called "mommy". Thank you to Jeremy and Charlee Kate for making Mother's Day weekend an amazing one! Charlee Kate and Jeremy did give me a fabulous mother's day surprise from my very favorite store and I was surprised! It was super sweet, but I must say the best gifts were being with the family that day!.

Picture 1: As we were waiting for our table at the Cheesecake Factory, Charlee Kate just wanted to sit there. The breeze was blowing and she was playing with flowers and it was so nice out. I totally agreed. It was every bit worth it!
 My favorite little picture of her!

Friday, May 10, 2013

Happy Weekend!

Whew... Yes I am really playing catch up here. There was a lot to post about from last weekend. Our fun weekend with Ella, Charlee Kate's dance recital, and then wrapping up May! There are numerous reasons I have not been able to post, but I will just try to write all that I can today.

I am looking forward to Mother's Day that is this weekend. What an absolute joy it is to be the mommy of my precious Charlee Kate. I love every single minute of her laughing, growing, changing, making friends, loving on her when she is hurting, talking to her, taking her on walks, teaching her, and best of all... being her mommy. I remember that long long time of "infertility days" and longing for that child to call me mama. She is an answered prayer that is the biggest and best blessing ever. My heart goes out to my friends who are part of the "infertility club". It's a club no one wants to be in and that is HARD to understand unless you have been there. But.... God does help and give faith in those hard moments. I have a precious gift to share my weekend with. Not sure what we will do, but the fact that I can just BE a mommy is a gift in itself. I am so glad I have such a little angel that calls me mommy!

Last Weekend:
These two girls had so much fun together all week with Gammy. Then we got them both on Friday and we had them all weekend. They played dress up, colored, watched movies, we went on walks, went to church, went to eat, had so much fun! Here are a few pictures. Together, they are a riot!!! 

Getting ready to head out for We Love Homewood Day. There was a parade and then a street party afterwards. It was very very chilly but such a nice day for it all. I would rather it be chilly than way too hot!
Watching the parade and catching lots and lots of candy
They were getting so tired by 7:45 or 8:00. Charlee Kate was wearing her daddy's hat and they were just hanging out!
A night out to celebrate! We needed a night out, just a good date night. My mom had Charlee Kate all week so off we went to Highlands Bar and Grill. It was so nice!

Last Sunday was Charlee Kate's dance recital. It was really cute and she is such the performer! She is very shy at first when you get to know her, but when she is on stage, she loves it! I think we are starting gymnastics this summer. I am definitely the GIRLY GIRLY type of person, but poofy hair and make up for her recitals, just isn't me. I guess maybe it made me feel like she was so grown up. I don't remember it being like that when I took dance. I will let her chose though... I just want to let her experience everything first.

On Monday.... back to the school routine! Only 9 more days of it though! Then summer time here we come!